A Touching Story*

There’s a little girl who lives next door to us. Her name is Michelle. She has the biggest smile and she smiles every day. Except for yesterday. I usually see her as I walk out the door, and as I was leaving for church yesterday morning she had tears in her eyes.

I asked, “What’s wrong Michelle?”

She replied, “All the kids in the neighborhood are so mean to me.”

I asked, “Why? What have they said or done?”

She said, sobbing lightly, “They make fun of my blinky box.”

“You mean your server?”


I placed my hand on her shoulder and said, “Michelle, don’t worry. Just click on this link, and I think you’ll find that everything will be okay.”

“Really?”, she sniffed.

“Really.” I said.

“Thanks a lot!” she exclaimed and hopscotched away, her smile restored.

This morning, I asked her legal guardian where Michelle was. They told me she’d been hospitalized after being attacked by wild budgies. She’s not expected to last the night.

*In case you could not tell, this story is completely false and also a very stupid way to get you to click the link above (you know, this one, about the home server). There is no girl to my knowledge named Michelle where I live and I have no knowledge of anyone being attacked by wild budgies.

Source (for the server story): Level Up


6 Responses

  1. Damn. I thought her blinky box was a Lite Brite or a red-rung 360.

    Don’t underestimate the radical groupthink of wild budgies, my friend. Many a man has died while thinking, “Oh look at the budgies. Like little parakeets.

    No one’s ever gotten hurt by a parakeet unless he was poking at it. Oh cute little budgies, wouldn’t hurt a soul, tweeting all day.

    Ooh that one seems popular, he has so many friends.

    Why are they all staring at me? What are they… Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Many a man, my friend, many a man.

  2. A Lite-Brite?

  3. I think I saw that book at Barnes & Noble the other day. I thought it was a joke.

  4. Btw, calling your post “A Touching Story*” and immediately introducing a little girl could be misconstrued as being a story about some pervert and his child fetishes.

  5. Ouch. And also LOL. Also also totally gross.

  6. […] a touching story… […]

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