Earth Alert: Endangered Species, Vol. I

I’m not normally an animal activist. Yes, I love pets, especially dogs, but I’m not a card-carrying PETA member and I do enjoy the more than occasional steak.

In fact, I might be one of those guys who eats steak in front of card-carrying PETA members. Come to think of it, I have done that. Sorry, Linda.

But this is just wrong. Who do we have to notify to get the German Technicolor Bear put on the endangered species list?

I know that Mexico trying to live without corn staples is close to blasphemy and I feel for them wholeheartedly. I can’t imagine what life would be like trying to live without corn and corn-based products. And even though I can imagine life without the German Technicolor Bear, it’s a world that I hope and pray never comes to pass.

And yeah, I still miss candy.